This coffee sure is an eye-opener!

I love coffee. I am especially fond of flavored coffees. I don't drink a gazillion cups a day, just one or two in the morning with an occasional early afternoon indulgence. I am not into the Grande Supro Macchiatious Non-skim what-ever-the-suck you call it.

I am always on the hunt for good coffee. Folgers, Hillsbrothers, anything in a can at the supermarket is NOT good coffee. One of my favorite coffees comes from California - Newhall Coffee. Try it. Very good.

Yesterday while visiting my in-laws, my father-in-law asked me if I wanted to look at a coupon book mailer. As I paged through it, there was a coupon for a local coffee place called "K & B Unique Coffees".

Cool. Local, "unique" - I'll check them out. Their coupon was for "20% off on your purchase of two sacs or more". (Remember that for later!) Oddly there was no address or even a phone number on their coupon. Hmmm. There was a URL, so cool. I figured I would check it out the next day.

I fired up the computer this morning and I entered the URL. No dice. It was wrong. "Parked" in 'net terms. OK. There was also an email address, which had a slightly different domain name, so tried that. Still nothing. Off to Yahoo to do a search. Bingo. Here is a blurb on the "Home" page:

One of most successful blends, which depicts a synched scrotalesque image and bears the tagline, "Turn your head and coffee, duly named The Bean Bag, could only come from two ambitious stereotypical males and is truly a play on words"

I had to read that a couple times to make sure I read it right. I did. Interesting choice for branding. Also on the left nav-bar on the web sites was a link to "TESTIS".

What the..?

I clicked on it and they were "testimonials" from customers who had bought the coffee. Ah, OK. "Testis", short for testimonials. I get it. Another fascinating marketing choice. On to the coffees!

The first blend that comes up when the "Our Beans" link is pressed is this, their "Bukkoffe" blend with the slogan "Your morning money shot":



Uh.....seriously???

It gets better.

Here is the aforementioned "The Bean Bag":



And who could resist going "Beans Deep" in the morning:



These could be the best coffees on the planet, but there is something about a nutsack on my bag of coffee that fails to telegraph that comfy warm feeling of that first morning cup of joe.

Then again, it could make a for funny "gag" gift. Santa's sack takes on a whole new meaning.

It couldn't be scripted better! ;)

The Bush Administration, a 3 act play.

ACT 1, The 2000 Election

G.W. Bush, Texas governor, son of the 41st President, rises from the ashes of alcoholism and baseball team ownership and remarkable odds to become the 43rd President of the USA. On election night, he actually loses the popular vote, but wins due to the Electoral College. The fate of the election lies in the hands of Florida, where voter disenfranchisement, and hanging chads rue the day. In Bush's corner is his brother Jeb, the Governor of Florida. Al Gore insists on 3 recounts, all of which have Bush winning. G.W. moves into the White House and promises to unite the country and make America the Beautiful.

Insighting incident - September 11th, 2001 Terrorists hijack 4 planes and attack America on it's own soil. The country unites in spirit and we all join together. America goes after Bin Laden in Afganistan.

END OF ACT 1

ACT 2, The WAR

In an effort to proper the doctrine of regime change, the Bush admin moves forward to invade Iraq, because Saddam has WMD (of course) and he will soon be handing them over to the highest bidder. America's fighting forces invade in an unprecidented attack and whoosh Hussein out of Bagdad in record time. Six months pass before any serious violence begins to occur regularly. No WMD are found, and speculation runs rampant as to the real motivation behind the invasion. The American public, still weary of the 9/11 sucker punch, give Bush some grace.

Time passes, and like a badly written TV Drama, more questions are presented than answered. Patience is feigning and the country begins to split. "Stay the course" or "Cut and run". Many actually believe that Bush is an evil genius and architected the 9/11 attacks, and many others believe (mostly the same ones) that he is a monkey and couldn't unzip his pants without help. At any rate, Bush's popularity sinks to new lows.

With the looming November Midterm elections, Republicans decide to distance themselves from Bush, saying "Not ME!" and Bush continues to "Stay the course" (although he decides not to use that term anymore) and even though there are calls for Defense Secretary Rumsfeld to resign, Bush insists he will be onboard until 2008.

Scandals insue. Republicans are great, Democrats are terrible. Democrats are the ones who will get the country back on track, Republicans are too busy at the country clubs to care about anything. Saddam gets sentenced to death by hanging, and some Church leader likes guys and drugs. G.W. mocks Nancy Pelosi and her desire for nice curtains in her expected new office.

The result of the Midterm election leave the Republicans battered and bloody. They lose control of the House and Senate. Rumsfeld resigns (which is now played out as "we were gonna do it but we couldn't tell you before the election"). Bush offers Pelosi the numbers of some interior decorators and sets up meetings to play nice with the Democrats (who still haven't presented their "plan" on how to fix the country).

END OF ACT 2.

What will ACT 3 look like?